.....?.....

Sometimes

I really wish

God

would let me

in on the

"Big"

Picture.

Only a Moment

Hi Everyone,

I only have a moment, but there are a few things Iwant to say.

First of all, I have not had the best few weeks, and have not made the wisest of choices, and I am sure that I will pay for those choices today on the scale.

However....

Today is a brand new day, and I am choosing to do it differently. I will get back to being accountable for my choices. I will write everything down. I will use the knowledge I have instead of ignoring my own voice. I will make the changes necessary to feel good about myself again and I will surrender it all to God.

Everyday is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves. Today I will open my eyes, my ears and my heart.

Be Responsible...

BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENERGY YOU BRING.

This was a statement I heard the other day while listening to a "brain scientist", Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor tell about her experiences before during and after suffering a stroke. She has written a book called "My Stroke of Insight" which is on the New York Bestseller List. The interview was fascinating, and I am sure the book would be as well, but it is the above statement that I keep coming back to.

Be Responsible for the Energy You Bring.

No matter what we are doing we should be aware of what type of energy we are giving off. When dealing with ALL people, regardless of age, ability, health, occupation, race, religion, or anything else, we should be conscious of what we unconsciously bring with us.

The energy I give off can affect people even without me saying a single word, and in turn, affects the way that people respond to me. But it doesn't stop there, my own energy affects me as well.

I believe that God wants me to pay attention to that energy.

Being a woman who has the tendency to worry about far too many things. I know that I often allow the negative energy of that worry to cloud every other thing that happens in my life. It makes me irritable, quick to lose my patience (especially with my boys), and not the person I (or God) want to be.

I have started trying to be concious of what kind of energy I am giving off. If I have Christ within me, the energy that I bring should reflect that. I am paying attention to how I react to the things that "set me off", and most importantly I am choosing to change the way that I respond. Instead of yelling as I do all too often (horrible, I know), I have been taking a step back and dealing with situations in a more rational, postive way. One that is more in line with the nature of Christ. Is it easy? Nope, but it has been a much nicer day without the yelling. Both for me AND the boys.

I Love the Fall

It is a crisp Fall day out there. Made for a chilly but refreshing walk this morning. Going to have to start wearing mittens I think. I love this time of year. I love the changing colours, and cooler temperatures. I love how God sets this beautiful picture for us to see and remember before the harshness of winter blows in. Providing us with fond memories of the kids jumping in leaves, the blessings of Thanksgiving, carving pumpkins, dressing the boys up for trick or treating, sharing hot chocolate and so much more. I always look forward to coming home and snuggling with my family. Here's hoping we don't get snow before December.. :)

Struggles and Hope

It is hard to believe that it has been almost 10 days since I sat down to write. It is not that I haven't wanted to, but when everyday life seems to provide more and more struggle with the dawning of each new day, I have found it hard to feel inspired to write.

However, I have missed it. I have missed my blog and the therapeutic sense of finding a coherent thought in the jumble that is my head on most days.

Today i past this tree and bench during my morning walk. I have past it before, and on some other occassion took this picture. Tonight I find myself wishing that I had taken the opportunity this morning as I past it, to sit for a moment. To let the beauty of God's handy work minister to me in my struggles. For if God can make such beauty come of some dirt and seeds, what beauty will He make from me?

It is hard sometimes to see your way clear to make lemonade when everything seems to be coming up lemons. To stop allowing the world to push you down, or crush your spirit. There is hope in each new day, in each new moment. The trouble is that we forget to look for it. We focus too much on the troubles we are facing instead of trusting that He has it all under control, knows what we need, and will provide the way if we only have faith.

Tomorrow is a brand new day. Will it have its own struggles? Most definitely. Will I let it control my day, my mood, my life? Nope, I have done that enough. Tomorrow the dawn brings new hope, and I will Thank God. For I have been blessed with 2 amazing little boys and a husband who loves me and whom I love. With God and them, any day is a good day.

Another week gone

I can't believe how fast the weeks go by. Today is weigh in day, and I feel like I just did it. I have no idea what to expect today. I had a good week, and added some more exercise, but my sneak peaks on the scale have not been kind. Disappointing. So, I am going with no expectation today and we will see if the scale is kind.

Sorry I haven't posted since friday. I was so proud of my last post I didn't want to do another one...lol. I have made a copy of that post and have it hung up so that I see it every day. Hopefully it will continue to keep me motivated. Thank you to those of you who commented on it. I appreciate them very much.

(Thank you to my hubby who had not read any of my blog up to now, but decided to get caught up on the weekend. He was up til 4 in the morning reading EVERY post. Honey I appreciate all of your support. Love you)

If I could write a letter...

As I took my walk this morning (which was a good one - felt great to be out there doing it today) I had the song 'If I could write a letter to me' playing in my head. It started me thinking.
If my 'At Goal' self could write a letter to my 'Right Now' self, what would I write?

This is what I came up with.

Dear Struggling Me,

First of all, there are a few statements you need to hear, and believe. Right here in this moment that you are in, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE INTELLEGENT! YOU ARE STRONG! Nothing and no one can change that or take that from you. Do you want to be better? Sure you do, and you will. I am proof that you did it! Do you struggle? Of course. No journey is without struggle. But you face them, and find a way through. There is so much I want to tell you.

Right now you are having a hard time with Life. Nothing seems to be going your way, and its tough, really tough. But hang in there. Good things are on the way in all areas of your life and so much more than just weight loss.

Remember that list of things that you want to accomplish by reaching your goal? You will be pleased to know that achieving them is a fabulous journey in itself. Right now you don't think you'll be able to run or hike or be able to keep up with the boys, but you will. You become an active, outgoing family. Gord and the boys have a hard time wiping the smiles off of their faces. You were always a good mom and wife, but now you can offer so much more. You get out there and DO, and what's more....YOU ENJOY IT!!!

You get to shop in regular stores. Gord says its a little harder on the pocket book now that you actually like to go shopping for yourself, but he couldn't be prouder of you for all that you have accomplished. He supports you all along the way. He is also enjoying the perks. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*

Life is good. You know that shy girl you are right now? Well, you don't stay that way for long. Having achieved your goals, you are now motivating others to start (and continue) their own journeys. Imagine, YOU, the inspiration that others use to help them get to their goals. It is awesome! Your are thriving in your professional life as well as your personal and spiritual ones. God is so good.

Well, if I write much longer, you won't have anything to be surprised about. Just remember, every day that you get up and put on your running shoes to go get some exercise, you are one step closer to your goals. Every time that you consciously think about what you are putting in your mouth, you are one step closer to your goal. Every moment that you think positively and keep going on your journey, you are one step closer to your goal. Don't worry about how many steps it will take. Just KEEP MOVING FORWARD! You'll get there.

Good Journey Janessa, You can and are doing it!

Love always,
Your 'At Goal' Self :)

P.S. You now have beautiful (and sexy) "unmentionables", and oh how much fun that is!

Down, but Disappointing :(

Last week I had a loss of 4 lbs, so after doing almost exactly the same thing this week I had hope for another good week. That was not to be. Weigh in yesterday was a loss of .6lbs. Very disappointing, and hard to understand. Can mood affect the scale? Or maybe its my stress level? Regardless, I need some help ladies (and gent) I need some help getting out of my stress induced funk.

What do you do to help you deal with the stress and struggles life throws at you?

P.S. I am still grateful that it was still a loss. I have started to track my "Down..." on the left of my blog. I need to remember that 18.2lbs is still alot, and keep moving forward.

Hoping for 2.5

Well, today is weigh in day. I have no idea what to expect. I had a good loss of 4 last week, and my week was pretty similar, so I am hoping that the loss will be good this week as well. However, I just don't feel like it is going to be a good one. Maybe its because I'm tired, or because I feel blah, who knows. Time will tell though. I am hoping for 2.5lbs today which would put me over 20lbs with Weight Watchers, so any positive vibes would be appreciated.

I am off to get the boys breakfast, have a shower, and try and change my mindset.

I hope everyone has a fabulous day. Good vibes to all who weigh in today!