What's Your Motivation?

In the meeting this week our leader asked, "what's your motivation?" What she meant by this is, what picture do you see in your mind when you think about what you will look like when you get to your goal. What will you be wearing, what is the situation?

Her's was a tight black turtle neck, tight black pants, and black boots. She was effortlessly coming down the stairs to answer the door, opens it up, and the person on the other side would almost be speechless by how fabulous she looks. Has she ever actually worn that in the years since she reached her goal? Nope, but it did keep her focused on what she wanted.

Next she asked us all to close our eyes and picture our own motivation. Mine has always been seeing myself in a really gorgeous evening gown. Hair done up, beautiful jewellery, and the perfect, really great fitting, and totally sexy dress. But as I sat there envisioning myself at my goal, sure I was still in this fabulous dress, but what meant more to me was that it was my husband I was seeing with me. He was ever so dashing in designer suit and in a totally romantic gesture, he kneels down and raises my hand for a kiss, then holds me close as we begin to dance.

Okay, so maybe its just a wee bit sappy, but what the heck.

I am blessed to have a husband who loves me just as I am. My weight has never been an issue for him. What has always bothered him though is that he knew I wasn't happy. Anyone who has been unhappy with their weight knows that it can affect everything else. So, he was always very supportive whenever I attempted to lose. This time is no different(for him anyway - for me its very different). Every week I send him a message after my weigh-in, and he is always quick to respond with how proud he is of me and how much he loves me. Just thinking about it makes me smile.

As I said in an earlier post, I have TONS of reasons to do this. I am VERY proud of myself that this is week 9 and I am still moving forward and in a better place than I was in week 1. But one of the best things about doing this is that I know that when I get to the end of it and reach my goal, my husband and my little boys will be there to celebrate the victory with me. Not only will it be my victory, but their's as well as they will have received a healthier, stronger, happier, more active and involved wife and mom.

Sweet Victory

Well victory is certainly sweet when you are rewarded for sticking to your plan. After a week of making sure I did all the things I had set out to do, with the goal of reaching 10lbs lost, I have been rewarded. A loss of 4.4 lbs!!!! Bringing my 7 week total to 11.2lbs. (and another 5lb star sticker) YYYEESSSS!!!!!

The victory however is bittersweet. Why didn't I start doing this 7 weeks ago? There is a part of me that feels that I have wasted much of the 6 other weeks. I could have done so much better and yet I had chosen to not really give it my all. Lesson Learned!

So what's the goal for this week? To do the SAME thing AGAIN! I have 8.8lbs to my next 10lbs. It could take me afew weeks, but I am going to work hard and hopefully get another 3 or more pounds off this week. (3.8 and I get another 5lb star sticker!) Here's to making a plan and working it!

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DON'T QUIT!

When things go wrong as they sometimes will

When the road you're trudging seems all up hill

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh

When care is pressing you down a bit

Rest, if you must; but don't quit

Success is failure turned inside out

The silver tint of clouds of doubt

And you never can tell how close you really are

It may be near when it seems afar

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit

It's when things seem worst

That you must not quit

Author Unknown

Even small is good

It has been a good week. I have done what I set out to do, and am proud of myself for doing so. Tomorrow is weigh-in day. I am hoping that I am happy with whatever the scale says. Its not always easy to remember that even a small loss is a good loss. I'll let you know how it ends up.

Smaller Goals

Just today and tomorrow left and then I get to see if my work has paid off.

With POINTS in check and food tracked, water done, oil in, and exercise over, the last two days have gone well. Still working out late at night because of how busy the days have been, but that's ok. I actually haven't minded that. The only problem with it is that I can't go to sleep right after I am done which makes the night even later. However, with Jyll and the girls gone home now, I might be able to get my 30 minutes in earlier today.

I am really happy with the way that the week has gone. I have made better choices this week, and stayed focused on my goal to reach 10lbs. I know that I have to stop concentrating on the total amount I have to lose (which is alot) and give myself smaller amounts to reach for at a time. Ten pound increments seem like a good place to start.

At the meeting last week the Leader spoke about the need for small goals, and showed us the different things that Weight Watchers gives to its members for attaining certain goals. When you reach your 10%, which is the first goal alot of people use, you receive a key chain, at 25 pounds, 50, 75, and 100 you get circular pieces to add to your key chain, and a star piece when you hit lifetime. It may sound silly, but I am actually looking forward to getting those things. Heck, I like getting the little stickers for my bookmark at the meeting. Recognition helps, and to be able to have something to look back at and remember what you've already achieved is worth alot!

So, here's to really making sure my week finishes as well as it started.

A Good Day

Another busy day yesterday, and when I wasn't busy I had company, which doesn't make exercising very easy to do. So at 11:15pm I was heading back downstairs to get my half hour on the gazelle in. But, I did it and that is what is going to pay off in the end.

It was a good day. I didn't get my oil in, but stayed within my points, and got in extra water.. Here's hoping that four more days of this will let me have some success on the scale on wednesday. My fingers are crossed hoping to hit the 10lb mark.

Well, not sure where the exercise will fit in today. Jyll, Piper and Aubree are here to visit for the day. We'll see how it goes. Regardless, I know that even if I don't get my 30 minutes in during the day, I have the resolve to do it at night before letting myself go to bed.

Thanks to a Friend

Life has a way of getting in the way. Yesterday was no exception. I was determined yesterday to make sure that I countmy points, track everything I eat, drink all of my water, make sure I get my essential oils in, but most importantly make sure that I did some exercise. Well, I successfully counted my points, tracked everything I ate, drank all of my water, got in my oil, but after a day full of running errands, by 10:30 last night I had still not managed to fit in any exercise yet.

If this had been last week when I was "trying", I would have just gone to bed and not really worried about it. But, thanks to a friend, I had made a promise to be accountable. I didn't want to have to report today that not only did I not get in extra exercise to make up for wednesday, I didn't get any in at all. So, with the rest of the house asleep, I put on my shorts and running shoes and headed downstairs to put on a movie and do 30 minutes on my gazelle. I wasn't long before I was thinking that 30 minutes was going to take forever. But forever ended and I got off the gazelle happy that I had not gone to bed instead.

At this point it is after 11, and I was enjoying the movie I had put it. I decided that I might as well try and do another 15 minutes or so to make up for doing none on wednesday. I got back on and another 30 minutes later I felt good that I would be able to report success on all accounts today.

Erika, Thank you very much.

Today I need to make sure that I get in my exercise early as my sister is having a Pampered Chef Party at my house tonight, and I would prefer not to have to do another late night exercise. We'll see though. Regardless, i will get it in today too!

By the way, the movie was 'Because I said so' with Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore,Lauren Graham, the girl from Coyote Ugly who's name escapes me at the moment, Stephen Collins, Tom Everett Scott...and the best part of the whole movie....Gabriel Macht. My goodness he is yummy! I enjoy chick flicks, and this one was fun.

Words and Actions

After weighing-in and having my WW meeting yesterday I drove into Oakville for my day at HO(I get to work at Lovable Labels head office one day a week - love it!). The hour drive gave me some time to think and reflect on my Weight Watchers experience so far. My weigh-in was not as bad as it could have been. I had a gain of .8lbs. But it was the realization that came with that gain that is the subject of this post.

Up until this week, I have managed to lose every week except for the one that I stayed the same. They weren't huge losses, but every little bit counts, right? Sure it does, but letting yourself coast along instead of putting in the effort you know it deserves is just laziness. With my gain yesterday I realized that my words and my actions have been incongruent. I say that I really want this (and deep in my heart I really do), but my actions have not supported that statement. I have let myself be okay with the small losses because they were still losses, and heck, I really hadn't had to do much for them other than watch what I was eating.

It is the same with the exercise. I kept saying that I would TRY to get in 10 minutes a day...Try? Who am I kidding. I managed to try...once. If I really want to make my weight loss happen, then I am going to have to DO!! It needs to be a task that I schedule right into my day, otherwise I will get to the end of the day, and another day will have past without it. I just can't let that happen anymore.

Even though the gain was small, it had a large impact. I hated standing there on the scale and having to watch her write that number down. I was unhappy with myself. I looked in my tracker afterwards and in last weeks spot it says total loss...7.6lbs, this week its 6.8, and that is disappointing. I'm letting myself down. I'm sitting here looking at my boys, and I know that they deserve more from me. I need to show them that when you want to succeed at something, you have to work at it.

I have 3.2lbs to go to reach my first 10lbs gone. This week I am going to do what I know I have to and, God willing, maybe get to that first milestone. I WILL track everything I eat. I WILL drink my water every day. I WILL get all of my food groups in, including the 2tsp of essential oil. I WILL do some form of exercise EVERYDAY! Today I will do some extra exercise to make up for none yesterday.

NO MORE COASTING!

I want to go to my meeting next week and be proud of what I have accomplished.

Struggling

As weigh-in day looms less than 24hours away, I find that I have to admit that I am struggling. I have not been able to get myself organized enough to get everything done that I should be getting done in a day, spend time with the kids, do my Lovable Labels work - both HO stuff, and my business stuff, clean the house, do the laundry, dishes, meals, errands, exercise etc, never mind being able to have some ME time. As a result my weight loss is suffering. I know I can do so much better but I just can't get my momentum going. I am afraid that tomorrow's weigh-in might be my first step backwards. HOWEVER, it will not be a direction that i will continue. I have spent far too long being this overweight person, and I am choosing to not be her any longer.
So, this is a journey, and I will continue to take one step at a time. I know there will be more hard times, but hopefully that will make me appreciate the easier times.

My question for you is...."How do you keep yourself organized, get everything done, and still have time for your family, and for YOU? Suggestions always welcome :)

A Strong Desire

Every time I look at my boys my desire to be better increases. How can you not want to be a better mom, a better homemaker, a better role model, a better anything and everything when you have been blessed with such amazing treasures?

These two precious boys are a constant source of joy, and inspiration. (frustration as well, but that's another post) Being a typical mom, I want only good things for them, and to spare them from any hurt or pain. I want them to be healthy, to find joy, and to succeed in life. But I also want to try and teach them to not measure their joy or success by the world's standards.

There are nights that I lie awake wondering what they will be like as they get older. Will they do well in school? What will they want to be? Will they marry nice girls? Have kids? Did I do enough with them? Did I teach them well enough? Love them enough? Will they look back and be glad that I was their mom?

Life goes by so quickly, and I fear that all too soon my little boys will be grown and on their own. I pray that as my journey continues to unfold, that I will strive each and every day to be the Janessa that God wants me to be. In doing so, hopefully I can express to them how deeply I love and cherish them, and want to be the best I can for them. But more than that, how infinitely more they are love and cherish by God for just being themselves.

Gabe and Zach, I love you.

Where to start

As I sit here to write this post, I feel tired, lost, and disappointed in myself. I am looking around the room (for those of you that don't know, when sitting at my kitchen counter you can see my front door, side door, and back door....not much is hidden from view, unfortunately) and I'm almost overwhelmed by the state of my home. The counters are covered in "stuff" that needs to find a home. The dishes are only half done. Toys are littered across the living room floor and couch. The laundry is still sitting in the baskets that I brought it home in two days ago after drying it at the laundromat because my dryer has died, which means the dirty clothes are on the floor. There is one shoe here, another over there, a couple more under the table, none of which are where they are supposed to be. Bills, papers and receipts etc are sitting in numerous piles waiting to be organized, purged, put away, and otherwise dealt with. My work stuff is stacked and patiently waiting to be done. The dust bunnies are multiplying...darn bunnies. The rest of the house...well, we let just say that it seems the condition has spread.

Needless to say I feel like I am failing miserably at the housekeeper portion of my job. It is not that I don't want to do it, it is more about where the heck do I start. I get on a roll and get some of it cleaned up, but while my back is turned cleaning up something else, the area I just cleaned seems to have some weird problem with magnetism and attracts anything and everything from anywhere else in the house. CALGON! TAKE ME AWAY!!

In all seriousness though, this is something that bothers me, and I am determined to find a way to get my home in shape, and keep it there. I am sure that my quest to organized cleanliness will be frought with many dangers and the battle will rage for many days. Rest assured though.....I WILL TRIUMPH!!......my husband and kids on the other hand.....

Week 5 report

So week five ended with a loss of 1.4 pounds. Another step in the right direction. Slower than I was hoping, but I only have myself to blame for that when I haven't been getting in my exercise. I am hoping to see a difference at next weeks weigh-in with a conserted effort to get in atleast my 10 minutes everyday and a couple days with longer.

I am down 7.6lbs total in 5 weeks. That is 7.6lbs I don't ever plan to see again!

10 Minutes

I'm sitting here at the computer wondering where my time goes? In the last 8 days, I have only posted once, have not managed to do the 10 minutes of physical activity that I promised myself I would do everyday, and am struggling to recollect how and why my days just seem to disappear.

How ridiculous is it that I did not do my 10 minutes everyday? YUP!! COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY RIDICULOUS!!! It's 10 minutes Janessa!! Just do it for heaven's sake. It doesn't even matter what it is. Just do it! I know I need to, but I still allowed the days to go by without it. Here I am on day 2 of my next week, and did I do the 10 minutes yesterday? NOPE! UUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Okay, here is my plan. I am going to stop typing, and do 10 minutes right this very minute............

...............................

........................................10 minutes DONE! See! How hard was that?

So, my goal for this week is to get those 10 minutes in EVERY day! E V E R Y D A Y !!!!

Good, but I can do Better!!!

Had a good weigh-in today. Down another 1.6 pounds which makes it a total of 6.2 pounds in four weeks. That is good, and I am proud of myself for sticking to it, but I know I can do better. I have not had much exercise over those four weeks, and I think if I had, my success would have been greater. SOOOOOOO, this week my goal is to start small, but be consistent. I am committing to myself to do atleast 10 minutes of "something" every day. If I can do more, great, but I MUST do atleast 10 minutes.

Also, anytime I feel like eating, I am going to make myself do something physical as well. Whether its walking up and down my stairs a couple of times, doing some jumping jacks, or even crunches. Every little bit will help me get that much closer to my goal, and will increase my ability to actually do other physical activities, and ultimately make me feel better. All good reasons.

Anyone journeying with me, I wish you the best this week. Try getting some extra exercise in, even if it is just 10 minutes a day like me. I would also love to hear what you do to get more activity into your day. Any help is always appreciated. Here's to another great week!

An Awesome Day!

Sunday August 3rd was a day I will not soon forget.

The Klager Wiens Reunion 2008 was a tremendous success.

As kids we grew up with the Klager Family. From the year 1966 to 1972 there was a child born to alternating families each year, with my younger sister Jyllian missing 1973 by only 17 days. They had one girl and 3 boys, while we had one boy and three girls. Over the years we have shared alot of good times, and some bad, but the friendships have always remained, but it has been along time since we have all been together. Almost 9 years ago some of us were able to get together. At the time, between the 8 of us kids, we had 8 kids. Now, in 2008, we have an amazing 24!!!! Yes, that's right, 24, ranging in age from 1 to 18!!! What is even more remarkable is that all 44 of the Klager and Wiens Families were in attendance!!! What an absolutely AWESOME DAY! There was loads of food, fun, and laughter. Truly we have been very blessed.

My only hope is that it isn't another 9 years before it happens again.

Phew! Tragedy narrowly escaped!

It was the morning of the weigh-in for my 3rd week. I don't mind telling you, I was NOT looking forward to it. After a week of being away from home a whole lot more than I was at home, and having the challenge of figuring out what to eat everywhere from Tim Horton's, to fast food, to regular restaurants, not getting enough water, and no exercise, I dreaded facing the scale. However, I was determined that NOTHING was going to derail me. I AM staying on this journey, and a few pounds are not going to get me off track. That doesn't mean I wasn't praying extremely hard not to put back anything I had already lost.

Ok, deep breath in.......let it out......here we go. One foot. Two feet. Ok Janessa, you have to open your eyes. PHEW!!!! The narrow escape from tragedy!!! What a feeling!! You'd have though I had won the lottery. Yeehaw! No loss, BUT NO GAIN EITHER!! Thank the good Lord!

I even shared the trouble of my week with my fellow WW's, (shocking I know...Janessa actually speak to people she doesn't know? How ludicrous a thought!) and received a star for my efforts...lol...GO ME!

Wow, time flys

I can't believe how fast time goes by. I doesn't seem like almost two weeks since I last sat down to post an entry to my beloved blog. Alas, 11 days have flown by, and I have not recorded any of it. Sooooooo, I promise to try and catch up.