Friday, August 15, 2008

A Strong Desire

Every time I look at my boys my desire to be better increases. How can you not want to be a better mom, a better homemaker, a better role model, a better anything and everything when you have been blessed with such amazing treasures?

These two precious boys are a constant source of joy, and inspiration. (frustration as well, but that's another post) Being a typical mom, I want only good things for them, and to spare them from any hurt or pain. I want them to be healthy, to find joy, and to succeed in life. But I also want to try and teach them to not measure their joy or success by the world's standards.

There are nights that I lie awake wondering what they will be like as they get older. Will they do well in school? What will they want to be? Will they marry nice girls? Have kids? Did I do enough with them? Did I teach them well enough? Love them enough? Will they look back and be glad that I was their mom?

Life goes by so quickly, and I fear that all too soon my little boys will be grown and on their own. I pray that as my journey continues to unfold, that I will strive each and every day to be the Janessa that God wants me to be. In doing so, hopefully I can express to them how deeply I love and cherish them, and want to be the best I can for them. But more than that, how infinitely more they are love and cherish by God for just being themselves.

Gabe and Zach, I love you.

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